Sugar Wastelands

The Sugar Wastelands are a region of land on Tejas, south of Corpses Christi Region stretching from the Sweet Sea coast in the West, loosely ending in the East near the westernmost edge of the UNNAMED BADLANDS/STEPPES. The Western half of the Sugar Wastelands contain the Sugardunes, roughly circling a dry crater-lake bed Cavity Crater. The Eastern portion of the Wastelands are typified by flatter, craggier dry rocky desert terrain. The area receives relatively little rainfall and citric acid rain conditions combined with cotton-candy-cloud and offgasses from native flora and fauna make for hot, sweet, syrupy rains.

Organisms with bones not adapted to the region may find it difficult to avoid aggressive tooth and bone decay, with many native microorganisms adapted to rapid infiltration and decay of teeth and bone structures. Many of the region's plants, animals, and mineral/toxin formations and accretions look like various delicious sweet treats and substances, and indeed most things in the region do have an incredibly sweet taste. There are very few things that grow or live natively in the region that are not either radioactive, toxic, poisonous, venomous, or otherwise pose some form of biohazard to many beings and animals. Humans and human children in particular will find hardly anything in the region to safely drink or eat but are more likely to be eaten before ever succumbing to starvation or dehydration.

Animals and beings exhibiting some level of resistance or adaptation to the dangerous environmental hazards may find habitation difficult. Poor “soil” foundations, extreme weather, and the thick and acidic nature of the Sweetsour River is unsuitable for most crops and provides abysmal hydro-power opportunities.

Radioactive candyfloss storms also quickly erode most traditional building materials. Most lasting and stable settlements and constructions are done fusing some form of magical energy or material with native sugarglass spires or less-radioactive large scale rockcandy formations. Magic-users and and magical beings are over-represented as inhabitants of the region simply given their increased chances of survival and working civil infrastructure. The common magic useage combined with natural magical interference during storms provides another vector that may warp or alter lifeforms in potentially dangerous or deadly ways. Or it might be totally sweet, hard to tell ahead of time.

Despite the dryness of the region, the inescapable humidity of Tejass in general makes for the right potential substrate conditions for a new goblin to be born in certain areas. The dryness is primarily due to the mineral, plant, animal, and other life in the region which The Sweetsour River is moist enough and has some shady and dank enough groves and grottos for a goblin egg to remain healthy in. Various caves, drained aquifers, and artificial constructions may also provide goblinible conditions provided it's dark and moist enough with nothing to prey on the goblin eggs or young goblin broods.

Goblins born from Sugar Wasteland substrates are typically referred broadly to as Sugoblins.


Candycornite are a sentient mineral formation, known for their unusually unpleasant taste and highly radioactive tips, which are actually part of a radioactive mineral-neural network waste-expulsion process.


Fruitydynobiite start as mineral accretions in the Sweetsour River, certain toxins, contaminants, and invasive microfauna become gradually encased in a hard, semiprous, stony flake that get eventually ejected out of the river. Many are merely inert candy-coated toxins, dangerous to step on releasing potentially harmful gasses or spores. However others contain micro-bacterial colonies that flourish and form hive-mind consciousnesses, or the heat and weather of the dry land erodes the candy shell mixing the toxins with the mineral accretion into a more sentient mineral arrangement.

Cruelly, many of these sentient Fruitydynobiite were cursed during a large-scale “blessing” ritual cast by some of the earliest invasive humans, a lingering curse that seems to only infect this particular mineral lifeform class. This curse compels the rocks to cry out praise for a particular religious figure from an alien cowboy and human religion, except for when there is another lifeform present doing the praise. The cries are psychic, which can be a stressful or unbearable experience for beings of any level of psychic ability. The notion of providing relief by shouting the praises is tempered by the fact most, when finally given the freedom to think and speak of their own will again, simply beg for death or relief. Death can be difficult to bring, particularly en masse and de-cursing works on an individual layer, hard to scale up for mass-casting.

Fortunately goblin digestion totally nullifies the deity-related curse, Fruitydynobiite can be quite irresistible to goblins despite it literally passing through them, barely being digested whatsoever. Many goblin-cured sentient Fruitydynobiite refere to themselves as “Chocodynobiite” because of their distinct colouring and coating.

  • sugar_wastelands.txt
  • Last modified: 2021/06/26 04:47
  • by kgoblin