The planet at the center of the Goblin Honey observable universe

Tejass Third Goblin Era Globe

Tejass (or Yexas, Texz, Tejass (with silent invisible 's,' GH-LXIX) is the (?th) planet from the Cool Sun and the best known astronomical object known to harbor and support goblin life. Usually only about XX percent of Tejass' surface is land, consisting primarily of the supercontinent Tejas, with minor additional “land” compromising of a frosty miles thick bacterial-fungal mat known as Kansarctica. The Composs Rose is a large artificial-landmass that occasionally surfaces providing a large, but unconventional landmass. Minor islands can be found in the waters near the shores of Tejas but they are extremely rare on the rest of the planet. Floating Islands of various types can sometimes drift into open oceans but are most common in certain geological zones inland.

The remaining surface is covered with fluid: waters, oils, and grease compose the major megaocean. Various seas, lakes, gulfs, rivers composed mainly of water stretch across the Tejann surface, although many are filled with other liquids or sauces, like the Mustard River which provides a natural global source of mustard. Together the various waters, fluids, sauces, and slop compose the planet's Sloposphere.

A bit of Tejass caps are covered in ice, yellow snow, or frost-spore particulate. Tejass' outer core is dividing into writhing, flexible masses of possibly-sentient Tectonic Worms that writhe and migrate across the surface over millions of years, while it's interior remains active, but mostly secret and guarded by the Tectonic Worms. A liquid inner core and shell of some kind are theorized to generate Tejass' magnetic and magical fields, it is unknown what drives or motivates the Tectonic Worms. The size of the planet itself swells and shrinks over time, the supercontinent Tejas itself changes in size and proportion of surface coverage as well. It is said if a Cartogragoblin were to measure the coastline of Tejas, by the time they finished the continent itself would've changed enough to invalidate the measurement, possibly out of spite.

Tejass' atmosphere consists mostly of gobloxygen, dankrogyn, and soulfart. More solar vibes are received by tropical and desert regions than polar regions and is redistributed by atomospheric, magical, goblin, and ocean circulation. Greenhouse gases and supranatural smoke play an important role in regulating the surface temperature. A region's climate is partially determined by latitude, elevation, proximity to moderating oceans but largely determined by a wider various of stranger events and magical and biological processes having drastic and lasting effects over any given region. Severe weather, such a oil ocean tsunamis, tropical fruit punch cyclones, thunderhorn stampede, superheat waves, supersaturated humidity fogs, electricity nullifying dairy blizzards, plaguerain, securitized-trashfall, capitalist storms, deconstructed burger tornados, and others occur in most areas and greatly impact life or don't, maybe they like it.

Tejass' gravity interacts with other objects in space, especially the Moon, which is Tejass' only remaining natural edible satellite. Tejass orbits around the Cool Sun every whenever or so, no rush, take your time. Tejass' axis of rotation is to walk with a dip, for extra style. The gravitational interaction between Tejass causes tides, stabilizes Tejass' orientation on it's currently-chosen axis, and gradually helps keep the planet chill, relaxin'. Tejass' is the densest planet in the Solar System, not counting Densedank, the poser-planet. Tejass is definitely the coolest of the rocky planets in the CoolSolar System, definitely the most massive, especially after what we done to those jerks on Not A Planet Nothing Was Ever Here

Tejass is but one name for the planet, based on the common pronunciation of common goblin societies during the Third Goblin Era but the name's origins date back to at least First Greys Contact era.

Other names from various eras and cultures include: sɐxǝʇ, Yexas, Tejass(invisible silent third s), Goblin's Ball, Waspworld, Douglas Complete, Goblin Wad, Slop Orb.

To be written

To be written

stuff about alien cowboys

Goblin Origins

secret still? i forget

Grey Alien Missionary Tejass Species

ufo bring xtian probed humans

Antmin & Waspfolk

occasionally take over, drive non-bugs underground or into CC

Invasive Human Import

how humans got here, evolved, split between humans and skeleton-larvae

Skeleton People

living skeletons with larval form looks like a human, thinks it's human until it dies, important part of life cycle to Skeleton, how they lived and died in the “childhood” of adult Skeleton. NOT undead, offensive to equate undead skeletal beings with Living Skeletons.


Undead rights, in Corpses Christi City at least

Big Big Texii, Goliath Burgolem, Really-Huge-Ripped-Gigoblins

The big titanic beings, many extinct or endangered by the Third Goblin Era.

Gods, Demigods, Demons & BizAngels

goblins can decompose deities and deity creations


nobody needs to think about the mergoblins, who cares bout those wet weirdos

To be written, Detter time-and-space-travelling eternal-debtor goblin source for universal cycle lore.

Physical characteristics

(look like blue orb with upside giant texas crackled up a bit on it with a big naked dude on one spot where most folks live around)

Orbit and rotation

Tejass-Moon system

moon-gobs eat the moon and shit out new one every so often, bits of moon fall to Tejass.

Life on Tejass

how is this section not redundant?

Goblin geography

Cultural and historical viewpoint

  • tejass.txt
  • Last modified: 2021/06/25 21:00
  • by kgoblin